Inside Catholic have run a couple of interesting articles recently that to me at least seem to go together. The great debate on Is NFP Mysogynous? continues in the many comments while Danielle Bean writes her heart rending colomn on what it’s like to say Yes to God even when He is saying “not yet”.

The short answer to the question of whether NFP is mysogynous is simply “of course it isn’t.” NFP empowers women, gives back their health and understanding of their own bodies as well as helping to space babies when there is a serious reason to do so.  For many women it has been the way they have tackled fertility problems and achieved that longed for pregancy. While I think I see where the argument that NFP is anti-women might come from; essentially that NFP is primarily the woman’s responsibility-I just don’t see the problem. As many in the comments posts pointed out contraception is often the woman’s responsibility and with it comes the horrible side effects (as well as the moral problems). Even those areas that men take on have nasty problems associated with them for the men too. NFP is at least safe!

The comments looked at the contraceptive mentality that can lead to the misuse of NFP while others pushed the providentialist line.  I think it is interesting how much debate there is on this subject. The Church teaches in Humanae Vitae that children can be spaced in line with the Will of God. I find it difficult to grasp why some people think they can over ride HV and say using NFP is just contraception and is wrong. 

Some couples never need to use NFP. Well lucky them. If you can space children through breastfeeding alone or have good pregnancies, easy births and loads of family support-all well and good. But a lot of us don’t and the Church allows us to use NFP for those serious reasons, which covers health and even finances. Certainly Catholics and other Christians are not as ‘open to life’ as in the past but I think one or two comments on the thread of the above linked article says why. It’s not about wanting holidays abroad or a posh car; it’s about the complete lack of support larger families are faced with. Even our parishes have a “why so many?” attitude.  I have to say I think we are fortunate that there are people in our parish with a more positive attitude. But only a couple of days ago I heard a mother phone Dr Ray because she was happily expecting her fifth and just didn’t want to tell anyone because of the reaction she knew she would face.

I am not sure what providentialism is. I am afraid it seems to come across as “I’ll do what I want and God can go along with it. If I get pregnant, well that’s God’s responsibility…” While I agree that God does take care of those families who put their trust in Him. He has saved us from difficult situations lots of times – I don’t think it is right to treat Him like some kind of Fr Christmas. The Church teaches Faith and Reason; both must go together and we must avoid superstition. I think there seems to be a sliding scale on providentialism with some people on the minus end not allowing God into their family decisions at all through to those who will not make decisions with Him and judge those in the middle who do make decisions based on prayer and sometimes spiritual direction.

The Church has given her answer on marriage and being open to life. I don’t think it needs to be complicated. Those who don’t need to use NFP don’t. Those of us who sometimes do need to use NFP for “serious reasons” can do.  I did read on the thread of something called

NFP is not a perfect, stress free, sacrifice free, solution but then what is? We are supposed to take up the cross -not the cushion.