Heal me! I’d go back…promise!!

I managed to get to Mass today and I am grateful. I managed to sit through it all and come out at the end without feeling like I wanted to curl up and die; and I am grateful for that.

The Gospel reading was about how Jesus healed the ten lepers and sent them to show themselves to the priest at the Temple. Only one, a Samaritan, returned to say thank you.

Father preached about giving without condition. He pointed out that Jesus healed all of them, even the nine that didn’t come back. He was happy that they had been healed.

He then told us the story of an old woman he was called to advise who had just come into a large amount of money. She didn’t need the money at all, and so had decided to divide it between members of her family and give a substantial sum to a dear friend who had always been there for her and was now going through chemo for cancer.

Father had been very pleased with her decision and said she didn’t need him, all she needed was the cheque book and get on with it.

But (bizarrely) the old woman refused. Although she had no need of the money she was going to “invest it” and not allow it to be divided until she died. Father told her the money was “dead” too then.

He didn’t tell us what she finally decided to do, but he made it clear that Jesus never behaved like that. I got the impression that despite asking for his advice and getting it with a dose of the Gospel – how Jesus didn’t hang on to His giving, that she decided to hold on to her money anyway; and perhaps her friend who had supported her so much never did live to see the gift. Very sad.

But while Father was saying if you have it, give it and give it unconditionally, I was left wondering why there is so little healing in the Church these days. So many people around me are suffering with serious health problems, physical and mental, and many are members of a Church.

I know we must accept suffering. Job has been part of Divine Office quite a bit over the last week or so- but Jesus healed and He handed on all His charism to the Church through the apostles. I wonder why it’s not so prevalent today. I know there are still people healed, but so many are left and I wonder why.

Perhaps I am one of the nine. After all I was able to be there today and I was still thinking- why can’t I be healed.  I am grateful for todays graces, and perhaps suffering is a grace in itself; perhaps if the old lady with the large dose of dosh had understood suffering she would have been only too happy to share her good fortune and enjoy the happiness of her family and friends. Do you need to have really suffered to understand joy? I don’t know.

I still wish…and I would go back and say thank you. …I would! Honest I would!

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6 responses to “Heal me! I’d go back…promise!!

  1. I have been reading Job too. The bits I have been reading have been all about how God can handle the Behemoth and Leviathan, and I seem to remember him asking, do you not think I am in control of events, when I command the greatest forces this sphere has to throw at you?

    It is when I am suffering and in conflict that I find it hardest to see the whole game plan. And as I read this post I can’t see the plan at all….I can only say, every morning, I’ll add my prayers to yours.

    God bless.

  2. Healing has always been a part of God’s plan – and healings do happen – they aren’t as rare as you’d think. ( I know quite a few people in my Church who have experienced “unexplainable” healings as a result of prayer .) Still, Jesus told us that in this world we will have trouble – but to “take heart” for He has overcome the world. Remember how we’re supposed to “rejoice when we face trials of many kinds” – our sufferings lead to perseverance, endurance in the battle – and that leads to spiritual growth. Sometimes I think that God thinks I’m stronger than I am – at the moment I’m laying in a chair, feet up, body feeling like it’s screaming – but apart from all that… I know that God knows what is best for my soul. He is truly loving, and desires my salvation more than anything else in my life. He knows what I need to become the “complete” person He sees me to be. That is the comfort of the Cross – the Glory of it all.

    I wish that we lived closer – that I could sit down with you and just visit – share each others burdens in person for awhile… Hang in there my friend. In Christ we aren’t far apart! May you know the Peace of His Presence in the midst of the Pain…

    • Nonna my friend and sister in Christ and pain. I already feel close to you. It is good to know someone who understands absolutely what this is is like physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
      We fight on and He leads.

  3. I think suffering being ill can make you a see how wonderfull the world is seeing the sun rise or taking in the early morning air seeing the birds feed just small things which people who are healthy miss! when your ill you soon understand how special every day is with your children and loved ones! hope you get better.

    • Peter, I think what you say is very true.
      There is something extra special about each day with the children especially because I always have just enough to do what needs doing for them and for that I am always grateful.

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