Marriage and children: claiming it back. What mothers and babies NEED first.

Even the mainstream media are picking up on the increasing poverty, educational dysfunction and emotional chaos that happens when adults do what they want at the expense of what children need. Over all it’s mothers and children who take the brunt of the fall out as plenty of research and meta- analysis shows. Common sense could have told us too but these days we need to see someone with ‘PhD’ after their name before we’ll believe what our own experience tells us.

I can’t help believing that the key to claiming back the sanctity of marriage is to rebuild adult respect for the dignity, life and needs of children. Treating children as “things” that we can have by right or avoid by right has been a disaster for children, families and society.

Catholics (and I assume other Christians) are supposed to put our marriages in the hands of God. Three to get married as SofGod Fulton Sheen put it. If we do that then we wont be trying to take full control of it all. Contraception is an intrinsic evil because it is the couple telling God to get out. “We’ll have a child when we want one and you can shove off Lord.”

Procreation means to bring about the gift of children in cooperation with God. He has given us a mighty role in family life by allowing us to cooperate in this matter. Once we understand that, and understand fully the gift and dignity of children, we would never dream of using contraception. (And that’s before considering the appalling side effects of contraception).  When you go back and read Humanae Vitae now, you can’t miss just how prophetic Pope Paul VI’s words are. Everything he says would happen to marriage and to the dignity of women has happened.

Those who insisted that breaking Covenant with God in marriage through contraception would bring about better marriages, less abortions and less child abuse have been shown utterly and terribly wrong as divorce has rocketed, invalid and miserable marriages increase; more and more unborn children are slaughtered – thanks largely to contraceptive failure- and child abuse is a shocking part of too many children’s lives.

Far too many people of my age or slightly younger grew up in abusive, neglectful or just generally unaware homes. This must be because the culture now deemed children as something adults had the “right” to have or not to have; children as commodities had taken hold, while adults were out finding themselves.

It seems to me that the root of claiming back marriage and families is to start recognising the inherent dignity of children and to treat them with respect. Adults have an obligation to protect the inherent rights of children because they are not able to fight for their own.

As Christians we are supposed to do this because we follow Christ. Even though the culture is desperately trying to ditch natural law, we should be standing firm and putting the needs of children first and accepting the place of God in our marriages.

And no matter how I try and look at this, ditching contraception stands out as the primary answer.


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